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| My song "A Little Time", about me hopefully going out with a Muslim
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Posted on: Fri, 7 Nov 2008 16:17:59 +0000 (UTC)
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I posted the following message on my MySpace and Bebo blogs earlier
today. "A Little Time" can be downloaded from
http://www.socialiststeve.me.uk/poems/a-little-time.mp3.
I have been a political prisoner on psychiatric wards on many
occasions since the summer of 1998 - after I was the only member of
the Socialist Party of England and Wales to speak in the debate at the
1998 European School of the CWI in favour of the Scottish Militant
Labour leadership's proposals to turn the Scottish Socialist Alliance
into a party (now the Scottish Socialist Party which had six members
elected to the Scottish parliament in 2003).
I am now an informal patient, in Nelson Ward, Manchester Royal
Infirmary (MRI), and would have been discharged several months ago if
it wasn't for the fact that I am homeless (and several thousand pounds
in debt so I can't afford to get somewhere to live unless I get
housing benefit which I have finally found out I can get). I am about
to start selling the Big Issue.
A then nurse once told me that if nurses see a former patient on the
street they are supposed to ignore them! She told me she would ignore
that rule, and may even go for a drink with them. However,
relationships between nurses and psychiatric patients, or former
patients, are strictly forbidden. Such a rule (probably enforceable by
the law) makes a certain amount of sense. After all, vulnerable
patients with mental health problems could be taken advantage of.
However, I have now been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, having mood
swings, being high when things are going well in my life and the world
and being low when things are going badly. This is a perfectly
rational response, and since I have a vital role to play in the world,
my mood swings are much greater than others in a similar situation.
Basically, there is nothing wrong with me.
There is a nurse who I previously fell for, on a previous admission at
the MRI, and didn't even realise she was Pakistani or a Muslim. As
Darius Danesh would say, I am colourblind!!! Earlier this week, she
told me that she doesn't know what love is and that all the men she
has had relationships with have tried to take advantage of her. This
helped me realise how strongly I feel for her, and that I want to help
her find out what love is, and how kind a man can be. [Actually, I
have a female-type mind, being less single-minded than men who have a
cause they are fighting for, and sometimes putting individuals I love
ahead of the cause.]
I am a virgin and, although the nurse hasn't told me, I'm sure she is
too (unless she has been raped and I'm sure she'd have told me by now
if that had happened to her). As a Muslim, she doesn't believe in .
before marriage. I don't want to lose my virginity until the world is
free, because many women from my past with whom I have shared mutual
strong loving feelings have turned me down due to more important
considerations than personal enjoyment (due to the crucial role I have
in ensuring we have a really brilliant and hopefully mainly socialist
world).
This week has been the most monumentous in history, with the election
of a black president in the USA. I supported Barack Obama, on the
internet and putting out a newsletter, and want to celebrate that
brilliant achievement which probably puts an end to the prospect of
unethical capitalism triumphing in the world! The choice now is
between some form of much more ethical capitalism and a democratic
socialist society (which I think should involve proportional
representation by single transferable vote as well as hierarchies of
committees based on workplaces and local communities). Socialists
opposed to PR, particularly Marxists, are in a very weak position, so
a "dictatorship of the proletariat" with only the working class in
power is pretty much ruled out too.
I was very chuffed recently, when Paul Heaton (formerly of the very
political band The Housemartins and also The Beautiful South which
also did some political songs) invited my band Red Day to be a friend
of his at MySpace. I checked his page and saw that he is performing
tonight (Friday 7 November) at Manchester Ritz Ballroom along with
Cerys Matthews (formerly of Catatonia which were also political) and
another support band. I managed to get two tickets on Tuesday, at
quite a reasonable price. Obviously, this gig has been kept fairly
secret so that their biggest fans are able to attend.
I decided, when I saw the gig was on, that I would try to find one
woman to invite, and wouldn't go with anybody else, who would be a
second choice. That wouldn't have been at all romantic! When I shortly
afterwards found out that the nurse had never had a decent
relationship, I knew I wanted to go with her. I told her later on the
same day. She has not yet said that she will come, but she is working
on my ward on the late shift which finishes at about 9pm. This will be
the first time I see her after the US presidential election. Hopefully
she will realise that I have played a really good role in the world,
bearing Obama's stunning victory in mind, and be prepared to put up
with whatever consequences she may face for having some sort of
relationshop with me (or maybe just going on a single date). I will
say that she can pay for her ticket if she prefers, although I've paid
for it already and don't want the money.
I have told her, and will go ahead with my promise, that (even if she
adamantly tells me she will not come) I will wait outside the gig on
the off-chance that she eventually changes her mind about not coming
and eventually turns up. I couldn't face going in without her!
Besides, it's been such a great week politically, and I have written a
really good song ("A Little Time", which you can listen to on this
page) for her that should bowl her over, so I am very confident that
she will come to end this great week in a wonderful way!
If she doesn't come, I'll take it on the chin and hope that my self
sacrifice and romantic actions win her over in the future. If she does
face any sort of legal action over going out with me I will back her
up in court. I have never had a particularly good relationship (all
mine have been with psychiatric patients largely because I have spent
much more time with them and nurses than anyone else during the last
ten years and nurses have turned me down for reasons I've stated
above, although with one nurse we made arrangements to visit Australia
together before she let me down on the internet) and haven't had a
girlfriend since 2002, although I have had four dates with a former
patient earlier this year, but the spark wasn't there.
I have often felt that my life is far more interesting than the soap
operas that so many working and middle class people spend so long
watching - but this is now more of a (divine) comedy, like an episode
of Friends!!!
Anyway, sit back and listen to "A Little Time". You may notice I've
nicked bits from a fair number of other songs including Housemartins,
Catatonia and Beautiful South songs including the one with the same
title - but it is an original work of art in itself and I am dead
chuffed with it!
"A Little Time" can be downloaded from http://www.socialiststeve.me.uk/poems/a-little-time.mp3.
--
Steven Wallis, a socialist poet
http://www.socialiststeve.me.uk, http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1526122651,
http://www.myspace.com/socialiststeven, http://www.bebo.com/StevenW3777 |
344194. My song "A Little Time", about me hopefully going out with a Muslim
344195. My song "A Little Time", about me hopefully going out with a Muslim
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